Let me tell you about this magical experience. It was last night, and it started when I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom, taking my eye makeup off. My intention was to take a shower, but for reasons that will be revealed later, I ended up not. I went to the small side closet to retrieve a towel, and I had to move a box to do so. As I stepped back and closed the door, my eye caught something crawling - at the most disturbingly fast pace I've ever seen - around the side and back under the box.

I did what I always do when I see a roach. I stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds, then I shuddered uncontrollably for a few more seconds, opened the bathroom door and practically threw myself onto my bed. I sat there for a few minutes trying to breathe and calm myself down.

I do not know where my extreme fear of roaches comes from, but when I say "extreme", I mean extreme. And it was a big-ass fucking roach too. Which made everything worse. Then I realized that my next task was killing it. Oh, joy. I can't step on them, because a. you can feel them beneath your shoe, b. the crunching noise does not go down well with me.

I slipped on my paddock boots, which had never moved from my bedside, grabbed my math textbook and headed for the bathroom. With the cat at my side. You get to hear about how heroic he is in just a second. :V So I nudged the box with my foot until the roach finally scurried out. Oh my god. Ew. Just thinking about it is making me feel sick. I didn't move.

Of course, it had to crawl into my side closet. "Well, at least it's trapped now." I opened the door and let the cat find it, and of course he went and turned it into a big game. Then the roach crawled behind him. So what does my beautiful, sweet, 18 pound cat do?

He sits on the roach.

I. Was absolutely. Horrified.

After that I was like "Fuck this, I'm getting bug spray." Turns out that the kitchen bug spray I wanted to use doesn't do a very good job at killing its targets. My little friend ran out of the closet and through the crack under the door, into my study. That is where I spend most of my time at home. I sheepishly opened the door and stood for a few seconds.

Sure enough, the roach came back my way. But this time it came back by way of the door frame. I swear to God, that roach had fucking ninja powers. It gets better. It spread its wings, and dropped to the floor. I could not move. I was stuck in the middle of my bathroom thinking to myself "Oh. My. Fucking. God. It. Flies."

I sort of just gave up after that. And I'm hoping it's dead by now, because that would be utterly disturbing. After having a cat play with it, then having bug spray aimed directly at it (and yes, I did hit it), I see no reason as to why it shouldn't be dead. Just in case, I'm sitting on my chair cross-legged. And, I'm getting a can of Raid for my bathroom. It will sit right next to the sink. And if anyone moves it, they will be condemned to death.

IN OTHER NEWS.

Yeah, I have no other news. :V

I'm okay. Yeah, things are a bit more difficult than I'd like them to be, but I'm okay. I'm okay. It's just that the sheer weight of stuff really comes down on you when you think about it. But I'm okay. I am.

On the other hand, I predicted the end of the world while falling asleep doing my math homework last night. :V I was trying to write "q" after a fraction, but I started dozing off. I ended up writing two Qs, and then some other random words that didn't even make sense. :V And I kept erasing them and then I would rewrite them again as I fell back asleep. Eventually I just gave up and went to bed. But when I looked at my homework this morning I was like "... lol wtf. " It's now a joke between myself and some classmates that I predicted when the end of the world is coming. :V

Maybe I'll be able to see the future through my math homework from now on.

ALSO, extra love goes to Andy and Rob.

Go rape their pages with love. Now. :l

WARNING: MASSIVE TEXT WALL OF SHIT YOU MAY NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND. If you don't want to read it, skim or just skip to the question at the bottom.

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God in heaven. What a day I had. I'm showing this weekend on both Legend and DD. Although, I already rode today. But whatever. There's still tomorrow to dread.

So yesterday, whilst my trainer was schooling Legend, the show maintenance people were cutting down stalks of bamboo that were in front of the judge's stand. Legend nearly had a stroke. By the time I got on him, he was fidgety, pissed off and tired, so I just gave up and decided to school him this morning before I had to show. He was perfect this morning. :V THUS, THE TERM "FIRST DAY BAMBOO-CUTTING ANXIETY" WAS BORN. God, I need a life.

So we proceeded to go do other stuff, and finally I got on Legend to show. Seems like all would go perfectly, right? Yeah, not really. We got through our warm-up course, and went on to the 1st course, which started with a brick single heading towards the in-gate off the left lead on a diagonal. That probably makes no sense to any of you. ANYWAYS, after that single was a line. Four strides. Legend has long legs, I thought we would be fine. Until we got a bad spot in. Now, here is where bad decisions come in. When jumping a horse, you don't have much time to make a decision, and you have to try to get the key things right on the first try.

I failed to do that here.

I should have sat up and ridden for the add step (five), but instead I was stupid and gunned him for the true step (four). Being a well-trained and fine animal, he listened to me. He was merely doing his job, doing what the rider asked. In this case, I was wrong. Very, very wrong. We took a super long spot, which could have never had a positive ending, and he flipped out on the backside of the jump. He wasn't too happy about landing wrong and nearly tripping and falling on his face. I fell. Woohoo. I could have landed standing if I had tried, but I wasn't trying to vault. :V So instead I hit the ground at an angle, with a shit-ton of momentum (since Legend had been running when I fell). And holy shit. Ow. If it is possible for one to land on their ass and their lower back at the same time, I did it. And every time I sneeze, everything starts to hurt all over again.

But, like I always do, I got right back up, got on, and finished my division. Went back to the barn, cooled Legend down, chilled out for a while. I had a division to do with DD, and when that time came, I was completely ready to put some bitches to shame in that show ring. Apparently DD was not. My sweet, good-mannered little Quarter Horse decided to turn into a pissy bitch. A mare, basically. Yes, I just called my male horse a girl. That is what he was acting like.

I got into the ring, started my course, and everything was fine. Until the bucking started. <sarcasm>Boy, was that fun.</sarcasm> We would do a line and then like, immediately afterward he would throw a hissy fit and try to buck me off. Luckily, I ride as though I have velcro on my ass and stayed on. So we went through the warm-up, then the 1st course, both with him acting as though he wanted to kill me, which is fine and dandy and all, but I really didn't feel like being killed. During the 3rd course, he was being relatively good, and I had hoped that he had just decided to suck it up. Yeah, wrong. During the courtesy circle, THE FUCKING COURTESY CIRCLE, he flipped. Bucked several times and tried to shake me off. I still had a flat class to do.

Then it started raining. Hard. Like, I could barely see five feet in front of my face. By that time, I was pissed off, tired, cold, soaking wet, and sweaty. I had fallen, I had had a horse try to make me fall, and I was generally not in a good mood. Most people I know cry when they have a horse show day like this. I don't cry. I chew my horse out. Don't get me wrong, I love my horse to death. But today I was just like \"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFemrfnkejs rkjkewrwFFFFFFFFFFF BITCH" by the end. Add some other common curse words to that string, a few "and"s and "the"s, and you have, basically, what I said to him.

I scratched the flat (I didn't feel like doing anything else), brought DD back to the barn, and left. I was ready to be done. Well, I still have tomorrow to look forward to.

So yeah, my day was retarded, but I'm feeling a bit better now. I mean, my ass hurts like fuck and I'm bored, but that's okay. :>

SO HOW ARE Y'ALL?

I would like to kick this off with some quotes from my rather amazing classmates.

Random Person: I thought last year was really hard!
Ju: What? Last year wasn't hard! 3rd Grade was WAY harder!
Me: ... LOL
Ju: No, I'm serious! Dude, I remember how fucking hard 3rd Grade was...

Random Person: Are you two sisters?
Me: What? No!
Ju: Uh.... absolutely not. We're not even related.
Random Person: Oh, I thought because of the hair and all...
Me: ... hers is dyed pink.


Random Friend: I like reading rape scenes in books.
Entire Group Of People: ...

Ju: DUDE, I GOT LIKE, TWO DEMERITS ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Me: I'm surprised you didn't get one for practically screaming "BULLSHIT!" in class. He just came over, told you not to say it and then proceeded to give you a demerit because your skirt was rolled. I will never understand how that works.
Ju: I will never understand how that entire class works. :V

Random Friend: My computer is special.
Me: Your mom is special.
Random Friend: Your mom's face is special.
Me: Your dad's face is special.
Random Friend: Your mom's gay lover is special.
Me: Your mom's gay lover's... dad is special.
Random Friend: Fail.

Ah, school. Gotta love it.